I'm Mike D And I'm Back From The Dead.

WARNING: You may not want to read this post, because of explicit things and stuff.
Well, that was not as long as I expected. I am now up, fully operational and ready to serve you. 'Cause that is just the type of cat that I am. I have flash installed again; so, that is a good thing. Hmmm? What else?
Oh, if I have to see that damn animal cruelty ad with Sarah McLachlan one more time, I am going to seriously harm somebody. It seems to play every other commercial break on Headline News. It shows all of the animals that have been burned, beaten, eyes poked out, etc. I just do not get it, man. It makes me want to summon the powers of Greyskull, Jack Bauer and the American Ninja. Go all covert with some slice and dice action. No, that is too nice. I would just anally rape them with a rubber fist encrusted in salt. Then invite an audience just to humiliate them. I could do some magic tricks and sing songs. "Hello my baby. Hello my honey. Hello my ragtime gal." "You're nobody 'till some body loves you. You're nobody 'till somebody cares." It could be a regular old variety act. Oh, there should also be puppets. How could I forget about the puppets?
How would the show end, you may be asking yourself? Well, Paco, just as the numbness sets in, I would proclaim "The Aristocrats!", pull out the fist and get off stage. It could run for years and years. Just like "Cats".
What would you call a show like that? "Professor Booty", of course.
Until next time: See you at the bar.