fear and loathing

So in three weeks I shall be travelling to Las Vegas. As my attorney, do you advise me to rent a very fast car with no top? Shall I attempt to rack up a room service bill averaging $35-$40 an hour for 48 consecutive hours? Should I attempt to rob the Bellagio, thus earning the wrath of Andy Garcia for all eternity?

Or maybe I should just gamble and drink and grope showgirls until my girlfriend beats me and the cops rape me with knightsticks and mace. Mace! You want this? GO CLEAN YOUR SHORTS LIKE A BIG BOY! *blasts megaphone*

Oh god, the men in the white coats are coming for me.